Wednesday, August 13, 2008



Last night, I received a really nice email from a site member who had been concerned about another one. The email asked to be kept anonymous, and asked me to change the person's membership to "BENEFACTOR" status. Oh and $40.00 was included...


It's really just a term I came up with years ago for people who donate in excess of 20.00 pounds (or 40 dollars (USD)). It's generally for people who feel they've been helped by the site - a way to "pay it forward" (or give back), and in doing so they get access to more private forums. My fave among them is of course the S-E-X Forum which makes me blush when I read it sometimes! Ahem, but I digress...

So now others have come forward to "pay it forward" too - so someone else can become one. What a wonderful concept. I am sure someone suggested that to me recently in our meetings about the marketing plan, but I never 'actioned' it...and then the universe seems to have done that for me in a divine way. I've always loved the idea of paying it forward. I really have.

I do my best to do so but I find my site members are often better at it than me - which puts me a little to shame.

The original benefactor last night could have taken all the credit and said "look what a nice thing I did" - but chose to not to so. That to me is a random act of kindness and I am sure it will bounce right back to said person in some way. It may not be in a monetary way it may be in some completely different way but what we put out comes back. I firmly believe that.


Funnily enough, when I received the email, (on my Blackberry), I was I guess doing something that could be deemed as "kind" - so perhaps in some small way that was my return? So not only did the newly-appointed Benny benefit - but I did too in a different way.

I'd like to make a place for people to give Benny Status "MAKE BENNY USE A PENNY" (or 4,000 of them) ;)


Last night I had to put on my Sage Hat and try to counsel someone who's been going through a particularly challenging time. No real change there except for this was face-to-face as it were. Anyway this person has been in a challenging situation for quite some time and feeling as though everything was "pointless" in the end. Don't we all feel that way sometimes? But the fact is we never know what the counter to our action would be. In some cases it could even be life or death.

My point is we all are making a difference in some way - even if we don't see it at the time. I believe nothing is ever WASTED. And believe me a lot of people come on SYBD feeling as though they've "wasted all this time" with their ex "for nothing". I counter "it's never for nothing"...


There is always good in every experience - even the most painful. ESPECIALLY the most painful. They help us grow and learn the most! So embrace them and be grateful for them. As the band Fiction Plane sings "Everything Will Never Be Ok". We are human. We all have our good days and challenging days. We always have something that's perceived as "not quite right" - be it our health, our finance, our relationship, our friendships, our jobs...whatever. Life is filled with endless challenges but the only way out is through.

I had more to say but off to meet my Marketeer! Peace love and granola people. x

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