Monday, July 28, 2008

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE WEB

LIVING OR SURVIVING?

I found a new blog in my travels which I quite like. It's on a site for blogs called MyBlogLog...the blog in question is called Living Or Surviving.

I have a phrase I use a lot on SYBD that people will not only "survive" their break up that eventually they'll "thrive" so I quite liked the sound of this blog.

I've just watched a great video on it about Randy Pausch - who did a "Last Lecture" on Oprah last year and died this week of Cancer. I highly recommend watching it - particularly if you're in the need of some inspiration. File this one under "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" I guess. "It's all Small Stuff".

CYBER FOOTPRINTS

Anyway I am joining so many sites it's unreal. I wonder how many I will keep up with. Sometimes we just do that don't we? Try things for a few days then get bored or side tracked? I am on TWITTER which is a bit of fun, and I've joined the MYBLOGLOG one...On LINKED IN, MYSPACE, FACEBOOK et al. Do you get the feeling I just have too much time on my hands? :)

I joined some other blog-type site a few days ago and am bored of it already.

Really I'm just devouring content from all four corners of the globe right now. I truly am. Books, websites, blogs, videos...You name it, I'm taking it in!



IT'S CUIL

Just tonight I discovered, on the Marketing Vox forum, a new search engine...to rival GOOGLE...this one is EX-GOOGLE employees and it's cool - in fact so cool it's called CUIL. Really. So I had to CUIL myself of course (as ya do) and it came up with like 3000 returns or something. (As if). I looked up Dumped and Break up and was most surprised that, at least in both instances I (the site) come up on the first page but oddly enough it seems to come up higher on "break up" than "dumped" which surprised me given the name of the site. Go figure.



CHALLENGING

So as of today, I am back on my "get fit" routine - in terms of getting healthy or should I say eating more healthy. The body really is a temple...that means eating better, cutting down on caffeine, avoiding smoke!...It's a challenge.

I had no meat or caffeine today - so that's something - but I did have a bowl of Mint Ice Cream (purely to finish off the tub, mind you) and a handful of M&Ms (I blame you Eva) so not all "good" as such. Oh well, it's in stages, I guess...Better than "cold turkey". I am one of those people who just can't go "cold turkey" on anything...which is why I've always sucked at "NO CONTACT" (aka NC)...'Must have one of those systems that doesn't like those sudden changes I guess. So I need to make transitions more gradual.

Anyway - watch that video I've linked above. It's a good one!

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

THE "DUMP 100 THINGS CHALLENGE"

WHAT A DAY!

Just in from a long day out...Met with "the girls" at the Tramway at lunch time for some stitching and gabbing (no longer bitching)...which was nice but I was distracted (as usual).

I am starting to think I am sufferieng from A.D.D. - did I say that last time? I can't remember...So maybe that's not the only thing I am currently suffering from?

So I'd arranged to pick up Grant to go for a walk at 3pm but when he came down I suggested we head to the coast to somewhere like Largs...I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go - just that I wanted to walk along the coast today in the sunny Sunday weather...so we wound up in Troon actually. And we could not have had a better day. . .Perfect weather for a wee ice cream and dipping your toes in the water.

After a long walk on the beach, we opted for some fish and chips at a local chippy...then a long walk around back to the car!

On the way back to Grant's, we ended up coming past his parents house, and I got to meet the folks! Now it's been six or seven years that we've been buddies, and this was the first time meeting the rents. They were lovely. Enjoyed the banter.

Once I got home it was straight to the tub to wash off the sandy feet. Felt great.

100 THINGS?

Had a quick chat with Nic a wee while ago, who told me about THE ONE HUNDRED THINGS CHALLENGE...and I loved the idea of it.

As a true PACK RAT, it's been driving me a bit MAD that I have so much junk...so I am sorta doing my own 'take' on the 100 Challenge and in true SYBD spirit I am going to DUMP 100 THINGS. 20 things per week for the month of August. I'll blog what I get rid of. Some stuff will go to the trash. Some will go to the charity shop. Some will simply be given to people I know.

Does anyone want to join my challenge? Really when you think about it - we all have too much "stuff" and I've been looking for motivation to get rid of it. Regular readers of my blog will have read that instead of buying any Christmas presents last year, I donated bags of stuff to charity. And you know what - not one friend seemed to mind they didn't get any materialistic crap from me! Hooray!

Well, this is keeping in line with that. It really is time. Plus it will make it easier when I move house next year. Win/Win all around!

So do you think you can dump 100 things? Books? CDs? Clothes? Gadgets? I probably could dump 1000 but let's start with the 100. Shall we?

Don't worry, I won't just dump 100 CDs - cos that would be far too easy. ;)

CRASHING OUT!

It's late and my head is mush - must be all that lovely SUN! That and reading so many articles on the web about revenue streams, e-marketing, communities, technology...Honestly I should be getting a PhD with all this studying...

PS: I've just created a wee blog just for this task...so no going back now! :)

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

LOVE OR LACK THEREOF

LESSONS IN LOVE

Excuse me while I have some random musings...You see, I've just had a private message on SYBD from a lovely and rather handsome Kiwi site member. It's a podcast about LOVE. (Link later on...)

I've often been heard (or read) saying that "Love is the most over-rated, mis-interpreted word in the history of words" and I firmly believe that.

Love can (does) mean different things to different people. It's a question of semantics, sometimes. We love our dog, our cat, our folks, our children, our siblings, our friends, our partners, a TV show, a band, a holiday destination, even a website.

What's love to one person may be nothing-of-the-sort to the intended recipient. Herein lies the problem.

If we're speaking solely of "romantic love" then I'd estimate that nine times out of ten, when people say "I love him" (or her) they're usually talking about LUST or EGO LOVE....not true love. I am a firm believer that real love is in fact rare. Most of the time love that's talked about and seemingly-felt is CONDITIONAL LOVE. I love you - as long as you - don't smoke, call me, leave the toilet seat down, take out the trash, cook for me, behave how I want you to, etc. (Insert your own conditions, and hey we ALL have them)...

If I am being honest, I believe I've only ever been "in love" one time some years ago, yet I thought I loved several men in my life (I guess on some level I did love them). Really, it wasn't until I had it - that I realised that all the others were merely attempts to have (or prequels for) REAL LOVE.

Love is NOT like it is in the movies and in the songs (no wonder we all have such distorted views of love!)...

Not "real love" anyway. REAL LOVE - says "I love you no matter what - even if you chose to leave my life". That's much more of a challenge though, isn't it? REAL LOVE, to me is bringing out the BEST in each other rather than the WORST. REAL LOVE, to me, is treating each other with kindness, respect and benevolence. That's not always easy (especially when PMS-ing, am I right girls?)

BACK TO THE PODCAST

So anyway I listened to this podcast this morning and it's got me thinking about LOVE. "Real love". Spiritual love. Love without attachment. Unconditional love. I wonder, is it even possible? I am not sure, but I am striving for it anyway. The world would be a better place if we all had it, I reckon. Have a listen OK? Then leave some comments. I am curious to hear what you think about LOVE.

Anyway - right now, I am just grateful for the opportunity to PRACTICE LOVE every day, because I believe it takes that...both of the Self and of others.

Right, that's me. Love yas! :)

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

DARK KNIGHT ON A DARK NIGHT

CHRISTIAN IS MIGHTY FINE BUT HEATH IS THE BEE'S KNEES

I saw the new BATMAN film this morning THE DARK KNIGHT. It was a stellar film. Christian Bale is admittedly one big hottie in that black suit but the real show of course has to be Heath. He was absolutely astounding in the mad role of the JOKER. He really was. Makes me just a little bit sad, but man does he "go out" in a blaze of glory. His last hurrah was pretty awe-inspiring. Lots of action - my only complaint would be like many, I suppose, the film was just a bit too long. Still go see it (on the IMAX screen if you can).

RECONNECTING WITH SITE MEMBERS

When I returned I had just enough time for a spot of lunch and then it was off to meet a former member for a coffee. This member had such a classic break up - finding out her ex was cheating by intercepting messages on a mobile phone (as I vaguely recall). There was much drama that surrounded the end of her relationship so it was wonderful to see her, hear about her many achievements since she logged on to SYBD and watch as she tried to rein in her 9-month old toddler! I tried to persuade her to chat to me on camera but she's understandably dubious. I am quite used to that. Maybe if she sees the way I am heading with the film she'll be more at ease. I tried to explain that her story was a good one but she was less-than-convinced. I think all of us must feel that way about our lives. They're often much more interesting to other people. Even mine...and I run a very unsual community, travel the world meeting them (and making a movie about it) but sometimes my life feels, well, lacklustre.

Trust me, her story is good. She's traveled the world (alone), achieved several degrees/diplomas (most recently an MA!), bought a place of her own, eventually found a man, had a kid --- this has been over the course of a few years, but yeah, she's truly inspiring.

OVERWHELMED ON THE WEB

Since I got back from our pow-wow I've been busy networking on various social networking sites (for real business purposes not just re-connecting with college buddies or whatever), and reading reams of cyber paper on monetising websites and community forums.

I found one article/blog on the Wall Street Journal site - that was talking about community trends..."Thirty-five percent of the online communities studied have less than 100 members; less than 25% have more than 1,000 members"...

Well I am happy to say that my site must be in the minority...we grow at several hundred a month....and there are thousands of members! And the site itself costs buttons to run...so I am on the right track, I feel.

What is a challenge is taking advantage of ONLINE OPPORTUNITIES when you run a "free" website. Here's another article/blog that was intriguing to me about the trends of 2008 written by a chap called Bruce Temkin.

Honestly, I feel like I am a 40-year old student researching all this stuff but like my grandma used to say "if it don't do ya no good won't do ya no harm"...maybe I'll end up teaching some of the courses on the subject one day. I am convinced I have a UNIQUE experience for Glasgow based site owners...someone might find my life experience useful one day eh?

I am still reading ONCE YOU'RE LUCKY TWICE YOUR GOOD - which is fabulous. Also books like DOT CON and FROM .COM TO .PROFIT....

Anyway I am trying to juggle days/work...so yesterday was mostly about the film and interviews - today's been about the website...tomorrow may be some writing (my agent James would be happy to hear that, I think! Hi James!) and then back to the film, the site and then the writing the rest of the week. I do find it hard to concentrate on one project at a time. I guess I truly am part of the MTV generation huh? (I was in High School when it started) and sometimes I feel like I suffer from A.D.D.

Anyway - it's time to switch off for the night.


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Monday, July 21, 2008

Monday Monday

SUNNY MONDAY

Well what a gorgeous day it is in Glasgow. It almost feels like summer here. Oh wait, it IS summer here. I nearly forgot. Got up, showered and on the sofa by 10am. Slowly I began going through some interview footage in Pittsburgh and California too. About to screen another interview from Pittsburgh now.

Just thought I'd take a few moments to update the blog though. Been a bit neglectful this past wee while. Birthdays will do it to you, I guess.

FRIDAY NIGHT

Had a great night out with a small group of us who ended up at the WEE CHIPPY DOON THE LANE. It was really for Ross but I piggy-backed on the celebrations too. Tracy, a fellow cancer, was also there...so we all swapped pressies...Kenneth, Nicola and Grant made up the party. After a lovely slap up chippy, my old friend Debbie brought us upstairs to the posh "member's only" club called 29.

I thoroughly enjoyed it and - we hatched a plan to join as a group! (ha ha). Seriously, I will no doubt join myself (sometime soon). We trundled along home, all of us, in time to catch my radio show which aired at midnight on RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL. It's fun being able to play it through SKY TV in surround sound. Music sounds better in surround sound, dontchaknow?

SATURDAY

Ross and I hit the River Festival in Glasgow for a time. It was ok. Lots of people, lots of boats and jet skis and the most immense wind ever. It was really too windy for me. Once we'd done a walk the whole way along, took several photos and had an ice cream cone - I was ready to split.

Besides, I'd promised to meet up with Kenneth at his to work on lyrics for some new songs. Hmm, I've always wanted to be a song writer. I think I'm doing not-too-bad all things considered...Nipped to Braehead and then had a slap up Italian meal whilst watching SHUT UP IN SING...which I of course love.

SUNDAY

Dabbling in artist management - I had to get some of Kenneth's music burned to disk as best quality as possible as we were heading to a studio to meet up with a chap called Billy. So we headed out, far west, in Glasgow and found ourselves in a good sized studio with all kinds of kit. Kenneth played a few songs while I snapped some photos from the sidelines.

It was fun and an indication of things to come (sessions / studio time lined up for the next month or two). It's an exciting time. Some of these tracks may very well wind up in the SYBD movie. I know "nepotism" - but if you can't help out your friends in your own business than who can you help out? I mean isnt that half the reason to do your own thing - so you can work with / for the people you want to? I'd give a lot of my friends proper jobs if I could swing it. It's not out of the question over the coming year either with so many projects on the "go".

Last night after we had an amazing Mexican Meal...I then enjoyed a quiet night on my own - slobbing on the sofa in front of the TV. It felt like a long, tiring week and it was good to just "be".

I was most-chilled out after my candle lit bath until I couldn't find my new journal (that I bought myself for my birthday) and I literally tore the whole house apart looking for it for an hour - and by the time I finally collapsed into bed around 1am I was well and truly scunnered. Grrrr. Oh well once I poured all my thoughts onto the page I was finally at peace enough to sleep.

MONDAY

I've woken to the most lovely sunshine and think it's time I got my clothes on the line and sandwich made. With three food parcels sent from America last week - I certainly won't starve any time soon.

Yeah, I feel good. Life is good.

Back to the interviews now. Enough skiving! :)

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

BIRTHWEEK CONTINUES

MORE GOODIES!

Well I do love living abroad because my birthday DOES truly last a whole month by the time my pals get round to sending me stuff (and I am three times as tardy as they are!) So today I went to get my mail and had FIVE BOXES of treats. Joc went way over board (thanks hon) and Kimba - great stuff. I've not seen the DVD so you're just fine! I can't wait to in fact!

There was a ridiculous amount of junk food sent my way - particularly when I am trying to shed a stone. Cheers gals! (The Triscuits look healthy at least. Ha ha. One out of ten aint bad),..Ha! M&Ms (yum), Jelly Bellys, Hersheys, Twizzlers (Cherry which are actually a bit sickly for me but no doubt will get eaten), pop corn, Rice Krispy Treats, and Graham Crackers (Thinking of S'mores, Joc?) and yummy David Sunflower Seeds (my fave!).

The cards from Kimba and Jocelyn were lovely! Kimba's made me laugh out loud, so it did. It's a picture of Moses at the pool side as a man is diving into the pool, mid-way down and noticing the pool has been parted like the Red Sea...at the top the caption reads "Moses's first and last day as a lifeguard". Hee-larious! No? Maybe it's a location type thing (ya had to be there).

And as if all this weren't enough - my friend Stephen took me to lunch at RADIO off Byres Road. Tastey Fish & Chips with apple juice (no caffeine today, yay me). So yeah it's all good. The celebrations continue.

Can't wait for bath time as Joc sent bath cupcakes. They're just adorable. Almost too cute to use in the bath. They look good enough to eat (but don't think I'll bother!) :)

Thanks to all my lovely family and friends. Much appreciated :)

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

BIRTHWEEK TALES

FINALLY THE SUN

We finally got some sunshine in Scotland - it's been a mixed bag since my return from the US of A.

Torrential rain, wind, clouds, thunder, lightning and a wee bit of sun for good measure.

On Saturday - I tagged along as "K" took wee "E" to horseback ride in the country. It sure brought back memories for me - as I grew up on the back of horses from the time I was two years old...Right through to having my own lovely Buckskin Quarterhourse many years later,...and even had a spell of vaulting on horseback (gymnastics on horses while they're running a circle) - in my school days. Yep, suffice it to say, I was horse daft.

While she rode, K, his mum and I wandered around looking at the animals on the farm - of which there were many - goats, bunnies, highland cows and more!

On Sunday, we went for a good, long ramble all over Rouken Glen Park. I, of course, took silly photos the whole time. I can't seem to help myself. We would ocassionally sit and talk on a bench, some rocks or the grass. It was a pretty chilled out Sunday - as all good Sunday's should be!

Came back, had some dinner and birthday cake (a day early) and watched the movie SINGLES. Love that Cameron Crowe...

Woke up and headed out for a meeting with Billy who manages many bands. We met up on Byres Road and had a good long chat. Left him and headed up to collect my mail (a card, a pressie and a check for $40.00 which I now have to send back to my dad so he can deposit it stateside!) before heading to meet Nic for lunch at the Lab. Food was less-than-desirable so I don't think I'll be heading back any time soon.

Nic picked up the wonderful 8-CD set by Wayne Dyer that I was after. Well I didn't really know I was after it until she gave it to me (the markings of a brilliant best friend)...but I was delighted to get it. Thanks Nic.

Left her and headed up for a film - MAMA MIA which was so incredibly-dire I nearly walked out on several ocassions. NOTE TO SELF: Love MUSIC - not MUSICALS. I was never a real ABBA fan anyway so that could have been part of it. Still it was nicely shot, had a great cast, and it made me want to go to Greece - so the day wasn't a total loss. :)

Hopped the tube over to the west end to get my nails tidied up. Met up with K who paid (Thanks doll) and then we went for a Chinese meal - the place we went the day we met (Thanks doll). After a lovely meal, we headed to FOPP and bought a few Ryan Adams CDs (Thanks doll) and into town to Borders in search of a DVD (which we eventually ordered online when we got back to mine). So all in all it was a quiet - but - decent day.

It was in direct contrast to last year's festivities where a group of us had a meal, I'd hired a venue and spun the 80s choonz etc...and topped it off in a 5-star hotel! Nope, this year's affair was much more low key and subdued.

That said, I think we're having a get together this weekend on Friday because my good friend "R" turns 40. So sort of a joint celebration as it were. Besides who wants to paint the town red on a Monday!?

All I have to say is - I am glad it's over. I had no expectations so was not disappointed in any way (which is a real good thing). I was messaged on SYBD, on Facebook, MySpace, on my phone and by email - by no less than 20 people. Even had a few e-cards....so all in all - I felt treasured. Thanks to those of you who did get in touch. Much appreciated.

FORGETFULNESS

Well I am growing increasingly scatty these days. I lose track of time, get dates mixed up, and do silly things like leave the house and get a few stops on the tube before starting to panic that I left the hair straighteners on.

I did that today - in fact. Off to see a press show, (of MEET DAVE), armed with birthday cup cakes for me and Thom (his birthday is Thurs) and I get just two stops away and am convinced I've left them on. So there's me - getting off, crossing the platform and boarding another tube only to arrive home to realise I had unplugged them. Curses! Numpty!

So I assumed the universe had a different plan for me today and I made the best use of my time as possible before meeting David for lunch at the Park Inn Hotel. We had a lovely catch up - both missing our Q96 days terribly (he used to come on after me on Friday nights)...And we filled each other in on what all our wonderful colleagues are doing now (compared notes and so forth). It was a lovely meal (thanks D).

LOST IN TRANSLATION

I've had some updates on my FACEBOOK profile this week that seems to be causing quite a stir, I guess. I think it's down to words simply meaning different things in the US and the UK. For instance - over the weekend, due to staying up late for my radio show on RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL - I'd written I was "shattered" which generally means "exhausted" here...but a few concerned friends took to writing me privately to make sure I was "ok". I think they feared the worst (either something happened to my dad or with K)....then I had "is in denial" as my status - and that was simply meaning the fact I was denying the fact another birthday was upon me and again - I had concerned messages on my wall and privately. So I've had to be more succint in my updates...so right now the message is: "has survived another birthday! Thanks for well wishes my lovely friends!:)" Don't think that one can be misconstrued, do you? :) Isn't that funny though...?

Well I am off to K's to do some brainstorming on his Whiteboard - and I'm already six minute's late! Whoops! And I am usually so punctual!! Oh well will bring him some cupcakes and all will be forgiven :)

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Sunday, July 06, 2008

CELEBRATE YOUR INDEPENDENCE

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND

Well another year has come and gone...The site is a year older now and heck, so am I, soon...

In the coming months, the site will hopefully be experiencing a transformation, and in that it feels as though I will too. Eight years is a long time. My relationship with my site has been as riddled with peaks and valleys as my romantic relationships have, but you know what? It's been more of a constant in my life than any man and than any job - so I must be doing something right?

I'm still here. It's still here. I still love it - even though I've been a bit remiss the past few years.

Think about the thousands of stories that have passed through these walls...The story of BOB (*name change) whose wife gave him two-months notice that she was was leaving him for a high school sweetheart (some thirty years on). She did it like she was leaving a job rather than a husband. That was classy. Not.

Or Jen who got dumped on her birthday, on a cruise, on the first night. Classy too. But Jen's happy healthy and well with a wonderful husband and baby now.

Or there was the gal, Sandy, who got dumped on Valentine's Day, over a pay phone in the rain - just four hours after she buried her grandfather.

Yes, there have been countless stories of long relationships, short relationships, even non-relationship relationships, from men and women all over this globe - and even in countries I never have even heard of before. But people bounce back. Most of them anyway. We are resilient by nature, I believe. I like to include myself in that category. Often down but not out. Like a phoenix - I always rise from the ashes a bit bolder a bit stronger a bit wiser. Most of us do after a heartbreak of any kind. It's just so damn hard to see it at them time.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY

The Internet (SYBD) has meant these people (and me too) can bond over this universal experience - across all borders and time zones and cultures. It's truly remarkable for me to sit and watch from the sidelines. I can sit and see who is becoming friends with whom - and feel blessed to have been able to connect these, sometimes unlikely, people together. It's a bit surreal for me if I am being honest. It's sort of my own "It's a Wonderful Life" moment, I guess.

In eight years, to my knowledge, there has yet to be an SYBD wedding, but it wouldn't surprise me, one day, if it happened. Bet it does in the next eight years - and I'd better be invited to the wedding!

SOMBER SUNDAY

Well it's another gray day in Glasgow. Wind is blowing through the trees and the birds are singing - in spite of the dullness.

As I watch the nature like it's a television - I am contemplating my life and my regrets. My biggest regret is for all the times I've done things to hurt people (often the closest to me) or made them feel bad.

It's happened more often than I care to admit. Studying the Tao has helped me a lot in my perspective, but it has not equipped me to not still get things horribly wrong. And as a typical moody cancer, if you catch me on a bad day, you'll more than likely feel the wrath. And if you have felt it, I apologise to you. Though I do hurt people, it's genuinely seldom if ever my intention to ever do so.

For today, I will concentrate on those people in my life who do love me warts and all. Who do realise that good days (and good moods) tend to outweigh the bad. They know the tough exterior is just that and that deep inside is a soft squishy sensitive thing. I am a firm believer in Karma and the Golden Rule. I've spoke it on many occasions on this blog and so I know that the sadness I am experiencing is not only self-inflicted but ultimately will help me to grow and learn to be a better person. So all the pain is not without its gain.

If there is one skill I possess - I'd say it has to be resilience. Another is gratitude. I am so grateful for all my experiences - even the challenging ones.

MUSIC OF THE DAY

Well, my friend Fiona in Australia just sent me some links for four Damien Rice videos. Am making my way through them as I type these words this morning...Right now it's Rootless Tree...It's powerful and emotive. He's got the gift. Check it out - if you can handle intensity and the f-bomb.



CONGRATS

My wonderful friends John and Dionne just gave birth to an Independence Day Boy. I am so delighted for them and can't wait to see their bundle of joy in the flesh!

Well I have a living room to organise...July is about scaling down the "stuff" cluttering up my world.

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART ONLINE?

Well I've mentioned that there are plans a foot to transform this here website - soyouvebeendumped.com....but the question is HOW COULD IT BE BETTER? It's good to know our strengths and weaknesses.

Over the years, eight to be exact, I've tried a variety of things with varying degrees of success. I feel as though, in many ways, I've carried it as far as I can (mostly) alone, and now I need to bring in other skilled people to take it into the next EIGHT years. (Yes, tomorrow is our birthday! SYBD's - mines not for another week).

Some of the things that often get suggested are below.

1) LIVE CHAT – there have been times in the past where we had live chats (for maybe six years there was one here and it was barely ever used). At one point, it (allegedly) became a "security risk" and our provider asked us to take it down…

I’d consider investigating (and re-implementing) if the collective community feel it’s important, but again, the past has show it was seldom used, so keeping an open mind.

2) CHARGING – For a few years I had a (nominal) subscription in place because people said “Thea, people value what they pay for” but in all honestly it KILLED the site’s dynamic and it took a good year to get it back to the levels we had before subscription. So I am loathe to implement that again unless we can come up with the right cost / benefit solution.

In my experience, people want what's FREE. I could be persuaded to change my position on this - if the right structure was suggested, and I felt that the members were actually getting what they paid for.

What's the right fee? And what would you expect for your hard-earned dosh? That's always the question is it? Pricing is so important. Charge too much - people get pissed off and go elsewhere, or charge not enough and people don't think you're up to much! It's a fine line.

3) PROFILES & DARES – I’ve been looking at other sites (not just break up ones) to see how they’re working, and frankly one I love is Lance Armstrong’s new site - which I have mentioned recently.

I like how you can create profiles and DARE people to do stuff. In that site’s case, it might be “drink more water” (which I am trying to do!), but in our case, “I dare you not to snoop, or contact your ex” or whatever may be more relevant!

People there can have pictures in their profiles and tell a bit about themselves. So that may be a way we head too.

Though, of course, currently on SYBD's forum you can have details about yourself in your profile, but not enough people feel out their profiles!

4) RETAIL THERAPY – is there anything we should be selling here? I used to have "break-up survival kits" and whether or not I was just “too early” in my thinking, had the wrong things in the basket or whatever – they didn’t work, but I loved the idea of it. Could have Kleenex, chocolate, even a DVD these days – who knows.

But if we had a SHOP – what kind of stuff would you like in it? Books? Clothes? CDs? What?

5) INSTANT MESSAGES – should we do what other sites (like FB) have where you can send instant messages when logged on? I figure most people just end up taking it off line to MSN / Yahoo and the like…but if the technology was there, perhaps members would like to stay ‘in house’ as it were? I am not sure...

So some exciting stuff is on the horizon for the NEW LOOK SYBD version 3.0.

My aim is to get as many site member's comments as possible to take to the "team" to create an even better source for advice, information and support than we already are!

There have been many things I’d like to have implemented over the years, but either my own malaise/apathy prevented it, or more often than not, CAPITAL has been the true constraint…

Let's do some collective brainstorming...Thanks for your time and input on this important matter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOYOUVEBEENDUMPED.COM - WE'RE EIGHT!

Hard to believe that Independence Day (July 4) is our birthday. It's come around so fast.

Eight years old and still growing...I am truly a "proud mum" having effectively given birth to it. It's taken on a life of its own since 2000 and here's to another eight years!

The only down side here is once SYBD's bday happens, I know mine is just around the corner! Ho hum... :)

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