Thursday, June 26, 2008

GIVE IT UP!

COLD TURKEY SUCKS

I've another day to go on my self-imposed ban on caffeine, tea, coke, chocolate, crisps and chips. I am doin' good (over all) but feeling pretty rough...and cranky....(don't even talk to me about my intolerance levels of late).

Have had a low-level headache for days, but once I make up my mind and commit to something, I am going to see it through. I thought I'd challenged myself to just go a week. Then, Hannah told me, last night, it takes TWO WEEKS to get caffeine out of your system. Could I do that? Probably. Will I? Doubtfully.

As far as caffeine goes, I doubt there's too much in a wee cuppa - but it's the principle involved. I know it's not like giving up Heroine or Nicotine but damn it, it's been pretty damn hard for me. One thing that's helped me is I didn't drink much Coke or Tea in America for the five weeks that I was there - so that maybe helped wean me off it.

Just found an article about it on the web.

Be careful with caffeine

Every time you drink tea, coffee, cocoa, chocolate, or cola you are giving your body a 'hit' of caffeine. Along with nicotine and alcohol, caffeine is one of the three most widely used mood -affecting drugs in the world.

If you have more than two or three caffeine drinks per day Your 'habit' may be affecting you emotionally and physically much more powerfully than you'd expect.


Having a challenging time - but I'll see it through at least until tomorrow night.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

As they saying goes "THIS TOO SHALL PASS". That goes for everything good in our lives as well as everything less-than-good. Everything is transient.

CELEBRATING INDEPENDENCE ON THE RADIO SHOW

I am most excited about the return to RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL. Though it's only a labor of love - it's always a fun thing to do. Radio truly is my bliss. No matter what stress I've been under, I walk into that studio, put the headphones on and I am away. Nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. It's my own form of meditation I think. As I say, my bliss.

What's yours?

This first show is a special for INDEPENDENCE DAY...and airs Midnight on the 4th of July, (so 4pm PST)...Saturday morning in Australia (and New Zealand),...So look out for American-styled tracks from Americans, Australians, English and Scots! An eclectic mix to be sure.

Well it's time to go. Men in Trees is on and Lord knows I could use a wee distraction!



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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

RADIO SIX INTL - ONCE MORE

BACK ON AIR

Well good news - at least for me and the folks who do tune into Radio Six International - I'll be back on air from the beginning of JULY. Check out the site to find out when because as of now I am not sure when - possibly the time slot I had in March,...I cannot believe it's been so long already since my shows air in March. Time has flown by - big style.

LIVE STRONG

This week - I was challenged by my friend Eva to join Lance Armstrong's new site LIVE STRONG. Finally managed to take a good look at the site. It's awesome. I am doing a challenge to drink more water! I don't drink nearly enough. And this week for Monday to Friday - I am having no sugar, no caffeine, no crisps, no chips - basically nothing 'fun'.

'Been two days and I am doing great!

My main vices (food wise anyway) are Coke (the drink, natch), Tea and chocolate. It's no doubt quite a shock to the system to be abstaining from them all!

SO YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED - THE MOVIE

I've spent my two days back "at work" - transcribing interviews from America. I had so many wonderful chats with wonderful people but I've still no idea who will end up in the final project. Definitely needs to be decided by someone who is not ME. Too tough to call for me. I have liked all I've met but some stories are bound to be more compelling than others. It's only natural.

THE SITE

I am beyond excited for the new look SYBD. It's long overdue. I really could be cited for site neglect here. Maybe a new lick of paint will make me want to spend more time on the site. Maybe it's very similar when you re-do a room in your home? All I know is for many months now - SYBD is not the first place I want to be each day. I've been struggling to relate to the forum members and give the most constructive advice. Thankfully there are dozens of wonderful benefactors and moderators on there to pick up my slack.

STOP BIGAMY

Well, good news - the lovely Julia Johns is in today's DAILY MAIL...

Julia is one of the stars of the (SYBD) film - with one of the most compelling stories - ever. Great to see her getting on with things. She's happy, healthy and not at all bitter like her ex insinuates in the paper! :)

If you've experienced bigamy and need support contact STOP BIGAMY now.

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Sunday, June 15, 2008

PAPA'S DAY UPDATE

SUNKISSED IN THE SUNNY STATE

Well it's been quite a time in America. What's it been? Five weeks or something? The days are flying by and soon I return to my Glasgow life.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Filming is now complete...and I return to Scotland with oh-so-many hours of footage to spool through - hoping a movie will be revealed somewhere in there. Yep, I know I've done this whole film project ass-backwards, but who cares? It's MY journey to take and I know more than a few people are scratching their head wondering about me and my methods and that's their prerogative. Hell, I've never been one to take the easy route - EVER. In fact, I often joke my autobiography will be called The Path of Most Resistance because literally life is one long challenge - but hey I am still standing, still breathing, still growing, still learning - so it's all good.

And hey, this film is ever-closer to being completed so that's a big two fingers up at the nay-sayers eh? (check me - getting all defiant; LOL)



WOULD YOU FILM YOUR EX?

Speaking of films - I am thoroughly hoping to see A COMPLETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES - this weekend at one of its premieres in Edinburgh's Film Festival. Never before has there been such an SYBD style documentary. I've attempted to contact the film maker Chris Waitt but either he's busy, thought my message was spam or he's totally blowing me off. In any event it doesn't matter too much. Will post an update about it if I go...the only thing stopping me is I'll no doubt be lagged after the Trans-Atlantic flight...I love the concept but I'd not want to go around interviewing my exes to ask them what's wrong with me. Though I am sure it would be illuminating, and helpful, I have to say, ignorance is bliss...

TRAVELS IN MY HOMELAND

I've RECENTLY returned (to dad's) from a few days in Southern California with a most wonderful person, Eva. Man did we have so many laughs. We'd never met before and suddenly I was descending on her for four days and did she ever go above and beyond the call of duty for hostessing. I arrived to her air-conditioned homestead and there were Godiva chocolates on the bed! Bedroom en-suite. Pool near by. It was luxury living to be sure. Wow did we see a lot of ground...Palm Springs, The Joshua Tree (National Park), La Jolla, San Diego and Coronado Island. We ate great food, and did I mention we laughed a lot?

There literally was not one moment I wished I were somewhere else. That's some feat - to simply enjoy someone's company that much...But boy was I tired when I got home. I've just been flitting all over the place I think it's finally caught up with me.

Back at Chez Newcomb - it was time to deal with bank cards (replaced) and new driver's licenses (renewed: damn another bad photo), and various trips to the library...

The final admin of the journey as it were. C'est fini!

Actually, I've spent quite a few hours at Sunnyvale library - air conditioned and free wi/fi - why not? Reading books on Zen (for the Spirit) and building brands (for the business). As I've alluded a bit to of late, the site is going to be transformed this year. I am not entirely what it will be morphed into, but hopefully something that is bigger, better, and an even better resource.

I have to be honest with you, for the past several years, my heart hasn't been in it. I've done little to the site - I've let it tick over on its own and yes, I've neglected my baby but that's all gonna change from now on...This break has proven beneficial to me - because it gave me the much-needed space from heartbreak and misery to get some emotional distance and detachment. That can only be a healthy thing in the long run. Inevitably I've stopped relating to - and identifying with - my target audience - which I think is actually a good thing in a personal sense but less good in the business sense.

The time has come to take on a different role in camp Dumped. Watch this space.

It has been wonderful the past few years meeting so many site members from around the world. These people have become my family in many ways. I share in their ups and downs - trials and tribulations. I get excited and proud when I hear about their budding romances, school & career achievements, and feel a part of their journey. I guess sometimes I don't realise how unique this is - because it just feels so 'normal' to me. I don't give it much consideration until someone goes, "Wow that's so cool you're traveling all over the place meeting these people and hearing their stories" and it is. Very cool.

Even since I got to NYC - one woman I interviewed has met a new man, another site member got a new job, and still another site member (I met on the 2006 road trip) told me she just bought a great house in the hills of Austin, TX.

I've written a bit of stuff on my MySpace blog but for some reason it's not letting me view it. So I can't poach some of what I rambled about for today's blog.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

So I know some of you who scan my blog are, in fact, fathers out there - so I sure hope you have (had) a Happy Father's Day today.

I spent the day with my dad. A little trip to the Flea Market and then some shopping and food. Now bless him, he's having a wee nap. I think I might just follow suit. After all, what are Sunday afternoons for? Pool side, here I come.

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Friday, June 06, 2008

FLYING BY

MEETING AND EATING

It's funny but the only thing I seem to do in California is meet people for food. It's literally like every lunch and dinner I am out eating with some friend or another. Yesterday for lunch I met Tina an old chum from High School. We had a lovely chat over a salad. Always a pleasure to see her...Then a bit of sun by the pool and it was time to get ready to meet Teri and old chum from college days.

It was kind of strange how I met Teri...I actually worked at Tower Records with her boyfriend Nick. But then Teri worked nearby at a place we used to eat a lot and we had some friends in common too. So it was preordained (or something) that I was due to be Teri's friend.

Teri regaled me with stories last night. One of being chased by a bear...and of her time at Yellowstone, across Utah, and down under to Sydney etc.

As I listened to her talk I was marveling at the fact that Teri and Nick are seemingly about the best couple I know. They've been together forever, they travel the world together, the just seem to be two peas in a pod. I know of few other couples that are enviable in such a way. It's nice to hear about some couples who last a long time...Happens so infrequently in my line of work...

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

SHE FELL INTO MY ARMS

ED HARCOURT

Well further to yesterday's blog, Brian and I decided to go for some Italian food near Cafe Du Nord and to see Ed Harcourt last night. It was a tough decision but ultimately a good one, I think.

I've seen Ed before once or twice...Most memorably opening for Beth Orton (as I recall) at Glasgow's Royal Concert Hall which was massive compared to the 100 or so folks that I watched him with last night.

I generally prefer the small intimate gig - to the larger venues and stadiums and festivals...so last night was utterly perfect.

Ed's a quirky chap with with some catchy tunes and stellar lyrics. Sadly, the one I wanted to hear most was one that was omitted from the set. "She Fell Into My Arms". I guess people can't play every song everyone wants to hear at a gig, but it's so rare I actually pay to see a gig, it would have been nice to hear the one track I wanted to hear most.

THAT'S THE BREAKS...

I guess life is about dealing with disappointments eh? Things don't go the way we want. Relationships don't work out the way we want. Job situations don't always work out the way we want...

...And friendships - that's the one that's been on my mind since arriving in California last week. Friendships don't always work out the way we necessarily want either - but I guess they always go the way they are 'supposed to' (as I believe everything always does.)

FORMER FINE FRIENDS

You see, I had a few good, guy friends in High School. Real close friends. One who went to my school (and was a few grades younger), and one who went to a religious private school and was my class of '85.

Neither guy was one I'd dated or kissed or anything of the sort. Both are married with children. It would appear (from my vantage point) that these guys are not "allowed" to talk to me now. Yes, I may be mis-interpreting this situation, I am not sure, but it really does challenge me to not be disappointed.

I can see that if I'd had a relationship with either of them, or been "intimate" with either of them - some wives may find it "inappropriate", but the fact was - NOTHING EVER HAPPENED with either guy.

I have met both wives as well. I would say I am hardly a threat to anyone's marriage - let alone men from my high school days that live 7000 miles from me! Sometimes the curse of SINGLE WOMEN is that other women assume it's contagious or something. It's bizarre. I know some women are predatory but I am not one of them thankyouverymuch.

Again, I may be misreading the sitch. Maybe the guys aren't replying to my emails or phone calls because they simply have no interest in talking to me?! But both did quite a lot over the past few years (even when married) and then stopped somewhat suddenly. Ho hum.

Ok, to be fair, I do have a habit of pissing people off at times, that much I can admit, but if that's the case with these two guys - I am honestly in the dark about what I may have said or done.

I do realise I can "choose" to not be "offended" - and for the most part I am doing that, but it does make me a little sad...especially when, like yesterday, I was driving a matter of blocks from one of their old houses and then drove by the other guy's work - and then drove to San Francisco wondering how they both were.

I don't have a phone number for the first guy anymore as he was laid off from work - and emails sent to him seems to have fallen into a cyberspace void. The second guy just never replied to the last several emails over the past six months or so. So not sure what to think or deduct from that - other than they simply don't care to be in touch...I am one of the easiest people in the world to track down on the web. So I have to assume if anyone wanted to be in touch, they would.

Fortunately for me, it's not the case for all my former guy friends vanish. I did manage to go out for dinner last week with another one, Dave, who I've known since junior high school (so even longer than the other two) and even though he, too is married with kids, he's always made the effort to see me when I am out, and reply to my emails (eventually). Yay for Dave.

So I wonder, is it just me? Or have you got friends that end up blowing you off and disappointing you without any clue why?

Would it make a difference that I am seeing someone now? Is that less of a threat to the wives? I don't know...Maybe I should tell them and see.

Honestly, I can appreciate how women (and some men) get possessive and a bit territorial when it comes to single women (or men) - and that they maybe assume we're after their partner or something, but in my case, I can honestly say it's never once been true. It's not my style. Truly it's not. Besides I had a woman swoop and in and 'steal' my guy - it wasn't a nice experience so I'd not do the same to someone else.

Golden rule.

Maybe, just maybe, the guys in question will have a gander at this here blog and decide to get in touch. Who knows? I live in hope...

Ironically, I have a female friend who was one of my dearest friends in high school, and she no longer speaks to me either. What's weird in this case is that I'd bet you a buck and a half it's because her husband forbids it. No kidding. It's a long story, and I may be mis-reading that one too - who knows? But I miss her too.

Realistically, if I look at my life and the close friendships I have, there has always been a balance. If one goes out another comes in...that is true for me ALWAYS...but some days it's hard to not stare at the closed doors of friendships (or relationships) gone by. Even if you move on to a wonderful new relationship - it doesn't always stop you missing the ones of days gone by.

Maybe that's just life? Or maybe it's just me? I don't really know. I guess it doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things, but California does have a way of making me more nostalgic...

Thankfully I have Brian - who has remained steadfast my friend since around 1989. Unfailingly he is a true friend. He's seen me through all of my break ups and dating mishaps. And his boyfriend - who's in the other room right now - has no issue with me staying over ;) Funny that.

Praise be to Brian.

ONTO MORE IMPORTANT SUBJECTS

A close friend's mother is fighting a battle with Cancer and the NHS in England. Several folks across the UK seem to be at war with them at the moment...so much so it was covered in the UK's Sunday Times this week.

I've lost my mother to Cancer, and my "English Mum" to cancer in October, my friend Gail to it in December, and I know the woman in question here in the article, so it makes me sad.

I long for a day when they really do find a cure for the disease. It seems that if someone goes "private" for treatment and then tries to get "top ups" by the NHS they're denied.

Many of these people have paid for dozens of years to their National Insurance Contributions (NIC) only to be denied when it comes time to needing the meds. That hardly seems "fair" to me.

But then I guess sometimes life just isn't "fair". It's quite a hot topic and I hope they win their legal battle. There's hardly a day goes by that the NHS doesn't get slammed for something I guess...Sucks to be them, eh?

FINAL INTERVIEW FOR FILM

I'm still poised to do one last interview for the SYBD film. After eighteen months I am ready to get it edited and out there for the scrutiny of the public eye. Yikes.

It will no doubt be some time next year before it sees the real light of day but the light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible.

LUNCH!

Today, in closing, I am off to meet another (former) guy friend who I've not seen in nearly twenty years, I think. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw him. He's a drummer here in San Francisco and I used to go watch his band play back in high school. I think I first saw them open for SPARKS in Palo Alto, or something. Who knows?

Anyway, he's from the East Coast, originally, and on one of his trips when he went back east for the holidays, he loaned me his drum kit. Tried as I may, I could never get the knack. I remember trying to learn U2's "I Will Follow" and failing miserably...Probably why I became a DJ on the radio - it's about as close as I can get to playing music.

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THE CITY BY THE BAY

INDECISION

I am writing from the lovely city by the bay. One of my fave cities in the world - San Francisco - where Brian and I are debating on whether to go see an inspiring documentary film at the ROXIE ('Indestructible') or Ed Harcourt at Cafe Du Nord. I am pretty evenly split and would enjoy both I bet. I suspect the film would be more beneficial (inspiring and educational) than the gig but sometimes it's fun seeing UK acts in a small venue in the City. The last show I saw there was Badly Drawn Boy (or was it Joseph Arthur?) some years back.

Was in San Francisco yesterday with my dad as well. We took in a San Francisco Giants game - against the San Diego Padres. We had a good time and we won. Hoorah. Looking forward to another ball game next week in San Diego.

Yah, I'm just a traveling girl. Will be fun to be on the other end of the state...and as Eva says by the time I've left CA - I'll have pretty much seen 3 of 4 our state's teams (only one missing - the As)...

Well we're off...I have much more to say but no time to say it. So more next time...as soon as I can get online again. Having some technical difficulties of late. ..


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