Thursday, May 29, 2008



So here I am. I finally made it to California late Sunday night - so late that Taco Bell near me was shut which was rather disappointing. I know it's a bit lame to be disappointed by a fast food joint being shut - but it's just a little tradition I have with my dad - whenever I arrive home for a visit.

My dad likes to surprise me with something every single time I come home and this time was no exception. It was a re-spray on my 83 Honda Prelude. Looks brand new (on the outside anyway). Very cool. It's a little less embarrassing to drive around now!


My first day was spent with my best bud Brian and all his pals at a POOL PARTY in San Jose. It was fantastic. I laughed so much. How great is it to laugh? I also spent much time talking to some very interesting guys. One guy Sean is off to ride the Trans-Siberian Express for more than a month this summer. How original is that?


In the past day or so I've begun uploading the footage of some of the five interviews I've done here in the states. It's such an exciting time as the light is being shown at the end of the tunnel. I have about ten or twelve people to be considered for the film - but we'll only be able to use about half that many (if that). I, of course, have my 'favourites' but I'll bow to an editor's instincts on who has the most compelling stories.


Today I spent hours in the SUNNYVALE LIBRARY researching all kinds of cool things - from Zen to Dot Com valuations. There are DVDs, CDs, Books and so forth - all for FREE in this country. Why do they charge for such things in Glasgow I wonder?

Anyway I had a hug stack to check out by the time it was time to leave. So much so I could barely carry the bag to the car when I left the place.

I'll no doubt be spending much time there over the coming weeks. What a wonderful invention the public library is...Saves cluttering up the house with books you read once, and you're never too old to learn something.


Well a further report from last Sunday's press. I've had a lot of messages, texts, emails and so forth from friends and former colleagues who saw it. One of my friend's mum thought I'd "jilted" him (my friend) once she read the article. The guy in question is one of my closest, long-standing Scottish friends, but we've never once had a date. Presumably, if we had been a couple these last six or seven years, I'd have met the mother in question?

This same guy reckoned the article was like opening a nut with a sledgehammer. I think he means it was "over the top" (which I would concede).

I didn't exactly send out a press release to inform the world that I'd met a lovely guy...sheesh. Gayle, the journalist, asked me and I answered...Not my fault it was a slow news day on Sunday :) Grant reckons that actual news should be in newspapers. I can't say that I blame either of them for their opinions. I was just happy I had some 'positive' press for a change, and my partner-in-crime loved that makes me happy. So people are welcome to take the piss out of us for the puff piece in Sunday's press - we're not bothered. :)

What anyone thinks of me is none of my business. You know the quote, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one!”


Well it's my father's birthday this week so I think we're off to see INDIANA JONES (his type of movie not mine)...But Brian will come down and see it with us, I think so that will be fun.

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Sunday, May 25, 2008


Thanks to Gayle for the wee piece in today's SUNDAY MAIL. Not half bad, cheers!

It's a sunny Sunday here in Pittsburgh, stop California. Hooray!

Happy holiday weekend!

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Saturday, May 24, 2008



You know it's just a little, ummm, peculiar when your romantic life becomes national "news". (I suspect it's because it's a slow news day in Scotland...) A few hours ago, my buddy Grant messaged me to tell me the article is in the Sunday Mail today.

You see, I did a phone interview as Angelika and I were booking down the freeway to Cape Cod last week, but you never really know when something will run. More often than not, it doesn't run when you have been told it will...

Gayle, who wrote the piece, said it would run "this Sunday", but sometimes they say that, and it doesn't happen. So honestly I wasn't expecting it to be in the paper this weekend, but it is (and I am rather glad it ran now, as it will all be "blown over" by the time I return to the UK in June!)

Anyway, so yeah, it's "official", after nearly a decade, I have a "boyfriend",...Stop the press!

What the article doesn't exactly convey is that it's "fairly early days yet" no need to rush out and buy a hat,...or look behind the door for your wedding invite. (That's what Grant said he did when he got home from work tonight - after reading it). Ha! :)

I assured him "that's a bit premature". But in any event we're both very happy, thankyouverymuch.

Though all of the guys who've been in my life over the past ten years are wonderful guys (you know who you are), this thing with Kenneth just feels different. We're the same age, on the same page, we love music, are fairly similar in the spiritual sense and we live near each other too,...No offense at all to his predecessors, but he is about the coolest, most easy-going and supportive guy I've met in a really long time! We really just gel. He makes me laugh.

I can't think of too many guys I've dated who'd have had the attitude toward this article that he has. He's actually excited about (way more so than I am, but I've had more than my fair share of press over the years). Quite simply he just has a good disposition and is a great "co-pilot".

I've not read the article yet - (as I am in Pittsburgh PA right now) but I can imagine some of the alleged quotes that are in there.

Please, just take it from me - as much as I adore Kenneth - I've not referred to him (or any man in my life, ever, for that matter) as the "man of my dreams" or "the one" or anything of the sort. But saying "I met this guy and it's early days but so far so good" won't be interesting in the paper so it has to be kicked up a notch (or six) to be a whole lot further down the path than we actually are.

You see, the challenge is, after eight years of running SYBD, not to be jaded about the whole idea of love and relationships. It's something I struggle with regularly if I am being honest.

The fact is we never know what is going to happen tomorrow, next week or next year and the trick for me is to embrace the moment. Both of us are doing just that.

We both have had our fair share of trials in our romantic lives but now have this "attitude of gratitude"...Neither of us were out there looking for anything. In fact, I've distinctly been saying for ages that I didn't want to meet anyone as I was just about to leave the UK for an extended filming trip...But as Kenneth likes to remind me (by quoting his own song, I hasten to add) "love has a plan and so it began"...and it all began because I heard one of his songs on MySpace, liked it, played it on the radio and he wanted to meet up to thank me and so we did - in a lovely "walled garden". Voila, romance blossomed!


It's simply a journey and we're along for the ride. I don't take anything (or anyone) for granted. I know all too well that (to quote Echo and the Bunneymen) "nothing lasts forever" - so I am just appreciating the here and now. Enjoying having a lover, a friend and confidante. More specifically a "co-pilot".

It's been a long time since I truly felt there was someone in my corner (and I in his) and it feels great. I speak for both of us on that one. As we both keep saying "long may it continue" - but you know what, if it doesn't - we'll be fine. I know a website one of us can log on to if it doesn't work out...

Am I a little bit apprehensive? You bet. Of that there is no doubt. Sometimes we just have to "feel the fear and do it anyway" and remind ourselves "I can handle it".


Oh so last night Sharon dropped me off downtown to see a documentary called GIRLS ROCK. It was absolutely darling and empowering. I enjoyed it a lot and was even inspired to think about doing something similar in Scotland. It will have to be a few years as the Site, the film and the possible TV series will be occupying my time for the foreseeable, but how great would it be to empower young girls from an early age to know their worth. The world would be a better place if everyone had a positive self-worth. Perhaps that's the answer to the question that people keep asking me "what's next?"

Time will tell.


Well, speaking of time, it's getting late and I've been tired for days...

It is my final night of being "on the road" filming.

Tomorrow I leave Pittsburgh and I get to see my dad - in California - for the first time in six months. Man, I am so very excited! Through technology, we speak daily (Thank God for Skype), but it is always good to go home and see your family in the flesh. My dad has his 76th birthday soon. My niece graduates from high school too. "Good times for a change" quote the Smiths.

I was able to do three interviews in Pittsburgh (when I thought I'd only get one) so it turned out to be a real worthwhile visit to this state. Thanks girls!

Sharon graduated law school this morning. I filmed her getting ready for this monumental event. I welled up the thought of it. It was like seeing one of my "kids" graduate. Because for many of us that's what SYBD is - a family. I share, quite often, their pain but sometimes, like today - I get to share their joy and achievement and live vicariously through it. I've followed her ride for many years now and it's great to see her get to the other side. I'm ever so proud.

One or possibly two more interviews and then I wrap on this wee project of mine! Hoorah!


Now, I must close. I've a bit more packing to do before my many hours of travel. I am taking a small plane for part of the journey and I have to say, I am not looking forward to that, one iota. Keep a good thought for my travels, won't you?

Peace and love to one and all! xxx

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Saturday, May 17, 2008



Let's kick off with the major news of the week, (for me), is that there is a new 'teaser' for the documentary on YouTube. It was edited (by one of my two friends called JOHN GALLAGHER) in just ONE day (& without enough direction from my part) - but I think we did good work for such a short space of time! Go us.

Please check it out and give us some stars eh....Thanks.


Recently SYBD has garnered some top-notch media mentions (hoorah)...but in the context of e-venge (boo). That's not what has ever been about. While people may be there airing their personal and emotional experiences - what's different from SYBD to others is the motivation behind it. On the site the vast majority of visitors are coming to feel less alone, to find answers and to feel better. It's not about naming and shaming someone who's done them wrong. In fact that sort of behavior is not even allowed on the site. It's not what we're about but as my dad always says "talk good about me, talk bad about me, but just talk about me" (his take on "there's no such thing as bad publicity").

So keep that press coming...all your journos.

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Friday, May 09, 2008


Apologies for being so neglectful of my blogging duties. I feel like I need more hours in the day - I am going to bed late and getting up early and not managing to get everything done...


There are talks of taking SYBD to a new level (which is so exciting!) All will be unveiled in due course!


There's a trailer in the works. Heading over to my friend John's today to tweak watch this space! The real film will actually be better than the trailer implies but it will give you a chance to meet some of its STARS the world over. So far we have England, Scotland, India, and North America represented. Ok so that's not the world, but it's a start.

There's literally so much going on I am bursting to tell you about - but I am not at liberty to do so just yet.

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Monday, May 05, 2008


What a week or two (or is it three?) it has been...Punctuated with some pretty severe peaks and valleys. It's been a pretty wonderful opportunity for GROWTH on all fronts. The trees outside the window show signs of spring and rebirth that is in sync with my own internal blossoming.

Bob Dylan's been playing in my head:

"I've seen love go by my door - it's never been this close before - never been so easy or so slow."

I have so much to do, see, pack, organise in the coming week or so, but let's just say I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything that I should be concentrating on. I have a real case of senioritis. That's what we used to say in high school when we knew we were graduating and couldn't be bothered to do any more work those final weeks (months?) That's what it's like. Speaking of high school graduation - I can't believe my gorgeous niece Jessie is doing so in a month's time. Seems like only last year she was born. Where, indeed, does the time go?


The other day I conducted an interview via SKYPE with one of my youngest site members. I love how the technology can bring us all together from all four corners of the world - across all barriers - including gender, religion, age, location, orientation...all of it. His words did simply bring home just how universal emotions can be - be they in reference to falling in love or out of love.

The technology is great - but it can't be a real bitch on the flip side...when dumpees (and in fact dumpers) are plagued with curiosity - and so find themselves on the dreaded social networking sites or photography sites seeing things they'd rather not see...Namely their exes moving on and having a great time. Ouch, that can really smart eh?
I reckon it's a whole lot harder to break-up in the Information Age.

So that technology stuff - which can bring us together - can rip us apart - a blessing and a curse!

That's how I view SYBD now - a blessing and a curse. A constant inner civil much so I've been slowly backing away from it...and am currently trying to find a new way forward for both me and it. Time will reveal the right course, of that I have no doubt.


Since I've gotten to this point, I've now appointed some moderators to look after the 'shop'. For months now, I've think I've really started to struggle to 'relate' to my core audience of dumpees.

In many ways I maybe have wanted to STOP relating to them. I am not a dumpee anymore. It's been nine years. I can pass on the baton to someone else now and embark down that new aforementioned path...preferably one concentrating on love and not the lack of love!

We'll see.

But meanwhile I have a film to complete - so I can't ditch the dumped for good just yet.

For days on end I've been spooling through half a dozen interviews in hopes of putting together a trailer of the "Cast - so far"...

At the moment, I am down to the final four interviews and VOILA - done doc!

I've definitely not gone for the quick and easy route - (of course there probably isn't a quick and easy way to make a doc) but it's been a great learning experience. Both about myself, about the human condition and about film making too. In many ways I've always sort of taken the path of most resistance - but at least I am still on the path...Doing what I love (most days) and surrounding myself with an ever-growing group of loving, supportive, and benevolent people.

Despite the challenges that have been on going in my life in 2008 - I am feeling better than ever before. More content. Less offended and hurt by other people. And determined to carve out a new and improved life for that includes LOVE.

So yes,....I am enjoying this new path in the spring time.

Two books that have really been making a difference in my life are - Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE...(which did what it says on the tin) and Eckart Tolley's A NEW EARTH which I am on the final days of reading. I've also been re-visiting Eckhart's THE POWER OF NOW - which has revolutionised the way I think too. I think I've mentioned before it was a former Q96 colleague, Joe Kilday who recommended it, a few years ago, but only now is the book resonating with me (I'd tried countless times over the years to get through it).

When the student is ready, the teacher appears...

Ain't that the truth?


Last night, the boys (G & R) and I went to see IRON MAN which was far better than I'd expected. (Hooray) It was quite fun, mindless ex-scapism, I have to say. Perfect for a Bank Holiday Monday. (The earlier part of the day was spent in the park soaking up the sun)...and this morning it was time for Ashton and Cameron...for this little, cheesy romantic comedy WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS. Yes, it was predictable. Yes it was schmaltzy.

And for those who like RomComs - it was worth a view. (The best part about it has to

Actually come to think of it, inspiration can come from the most unlikely sources. There was a particularly good line in last night's IRON MAN film - directed at Robert Downey Junior - this billionaire, inventor type of guy who lives the bachelor life..."so the man who has everything....has nothing" - or words to that affect. Isn't that true? We can have all the material possessions in the world and without someone to share them with - life can feel empty and rather pointless.

Anyway - I had to cancel on John (my editor) today so I can get more footage together for the trailer - so I'd better get doing that and not sitting in my sauna (I mean my lounge) writing this rambling blog.

Suffice it to say, life is going particularly lovely here at Camp Dumped...there are big changes afoot this year - both in terms of the site and me well and truly "watch this space". Well, if you want to.

Your happy hostess, Miss T xxx

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