Wednesday, April 02, 2008



Well I've had a number of message in response to yesterday's blog which I want to address. Most have been supportive of me or rather my decision, but all have said that they "selfishly" would like to see the site continue.

First let me allay some fears and address some suggestions...

The site is not going anywhere...not today. Not this month or even next. It's not the type of site I can just turn off the switch without doing my best to give everyone 'notice' to back up their threads and private messages. I don't need that pointed out to me - I know. It's more something I am working the future.

Second, it's not just about the MONEY. Before you suggest advertising or "subscription" fees and the like, can I just let you know I've tried all that? The site already was a "subscription site" before...I implemented that years ago and it actually KILLED the dynamic of the site.

It took a good year to get it back to steady traffic it had been before I tried to enforce a mandatory payment scheme...I know many of you think "people value what they pay for" but frankly a larger % will just go find a FREE site to post on - which is precisely what happened.

To be fair, paying for things on the Internet is more common now than a few years ago when I attempted this...

Naturally I appreciate the feedback (my ego doesn't quite so much). I realise everyone is making these suggestions because they want to see the site live on. I get that.

I, of course, do too, and it will live on in some capacity and not join the ranks of the famous closings like BOO.COM or something. (Incidentally they had 135 million dollars and only lasted 18 months, so there you go)

Anyway, I guess my main reason for posting here was to start to give some warning that things will be CHANGING. Embrace it. I reckon it will MORPH into something different - hopefully something better.

I know the right path will present itself and it will work out exactly how it is supposed to go. I've DETACHED FROM THE OUTCOME and I'd urge ALL of you who use the site to do the same.

I trust that I'll be OK and I trust that all the site members will be too...even if it's a case of the 'worst case scenario' - we will all be OK.

The reason for wanting to distance myself from it - is because it's time to love and be happy again, and rightly or wrongly, in my head I've not felt I could do that with this site taking up all of my time and my energy and thought processes.

And again delegating is not really the answer - because if the site is there - I check it. Until you can ship me away to a desert island - SYBD will be a part of my daily life. Let's move on.

I think I've addressed some of the main comments/concerns etc,...Keep them coming if I haven't.


Do you know what? I've been going to a lot of gigs of late. I've seen about EIGHT bands/singers in the SEVEN days. I feel like I was disconnected from concerts when I lost my job on air...I just sort of stopped going. But lately I've been going again and it's been bliss. Total renewed enthusiasm. I love hearing bands, meeting bands, trying to find the perfect songs that will resonate with people who see the Dumped Documentary...and it just feels so good to be alive.

Last night as I sat there, in the Liquid Ship, watching these up-and-coming acts playing their songs it reminded me of a dream I've always had to run a label...At the very least my label, Kinekter, will license the tracks for the soundtrack to the film so even if I only release ONE CD - I will at least have achieved a life-long dream.

Doing the recent shows, "sounds a-x-ecosse" for RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL - reminded me just how much JOY I feel when radio presenting. More than any other "job" I've ever done. There is something so ZEN like to be in a studio, doors shut, headphones on, raising the fader and speaking to whoever may be listening. Sometimes you feel there is absolutely nobody listening, but you do it anyway, only to find out later that people did in fact hear you.

Maybe that's just what we all want in life - to be heard?

Though the guy who 'inspired' the site once called me "slick" on air - that's about the last thing I'd use to describe myself. I babble incessantly. I gush. I stutter over words but man, I feel passion for what I do.

Ha! No, "professional" isn't really the term I'd use. :)

But "Who cares? So what?" - it's what I love and soon it will be time to find someone to pay me for that passion again. Any PD's reading? Keep me in mind...And an old demo can be found on MySpace page :) Must add a more current one eh? You can stream my recent shows at Radio Six International - and all four shows are being repeated on Saturday mornings...which is nice. Maybe some listener out there would be willing to start up a BRING BACK THEA TO THE SCOTTISH AIRWAVES campaign? :)

"Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?" Ha.


Anyway enough "ego talk" point that I was trying to make was life is all about pain and pleasure. We never get one without the other. We need both to gauge things in life. Pain, pleasure, love, hate, joy, loss....all interwoven emotions.

It kind of makes me think of a great pleasure passage in Eckhart Tolle's THE POWER OF NOW. P. 24

"PLEASURE is always derived from something outside you, where as JOY arises from within. The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you, so its absence will give you pain. And what is often referred to as LOVE may be pleasurable and exciting for a while but it is an addictive clinging an extremely needy condition that can turn into its opposite at the flick of a switch. Many 'love' relationships, after the initial euphoria has passed, actually oscillate between love and hate, attraction and attack.

REAL LOVE doesn't make you suffer. How could it? It doesn't suddenly turn into HATE nor does real JOY turn into PAIN,..."

THE POWER OF NOW was recommended to me by my Q96 Colleague (now Real Radio) JOE KILDAY. We sat chatting during one of his shows one Saturday morning and on his recommendation I bought the book. It's not a "easy" read for me, but it's one of the most life-changing books (concepts) ever, so 18 months later I am still working my way through the darn thing! Ha. I personally am often 'drawn' to books at any given time to answer some questions that have been roaming through my mind. I find I get led to the POWER OF NOW in such times.

In one instance, I was standing in the "personal development" section at Borders and a book fell on my head so I bought it. If that wasn't a sign I don't know what is. I like to think it was my mother's doing. It may have been LOUISE HAY'S 'HEAL YOUR LIFE' - which I pick up and put down periodically, too. So even in her "passing" I reckon my mom, (who was a psychic and spiritual healer) - still guides me. I think only now at 40 are the concepts she was trying to instil in me (20 years ago) are being borne (or rather awakened) in my consciousness now.

It's an exciting time for me personally and for global consciousness too.

The fact that Oprah/Eckhart have had 11 million downloads for this series prove that to me. In fact, for me personally, a lot of the plans for moving on from SYBD are probably stemming from their online course which is currently taking place for his book A NEW EARTH.

It's a book I picked up last year, off the back of THE POWER OF NOW and long before it was a "book of the month" by miss Oprah. :) I'd only skimmed the book, last year and when I saw she was doing a web class about it - I took that as a sign it was time to focus on the book more carefully now. I came to it in week three so I've had to download all the classes to catch up. If you're at a cross roads in your life, or unhappy in any way - I definitely recommend this book (online course) it will TRANSFORM your life if you work at it.

To me, transformation is worth the effort. So on that note, I think I'll head to the library with my book and do some studying. There is a thread in the book forum to discuss this life-altering book - and I just wait for someone to read it and discuss it with me...please...?

Thanks to everyone who's been supporting me, making 'suggestions' (even the ones that frustrate me!) it's really good to know you're there and that you care. I appreciate you. It's also heartening to know someone is reading these words - cos like radio, sometimes I wonder...


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