Tuesday, April 22, 2008

GOING WITH THE FLOW

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

Yesterday I saw the film FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL. It was the 4th film I'd seen in as many days! (The others have seen IN BRUGES, FLASHBACKS OF A FOOL, and best of all HAPPY GO LUCKY...) I liked F.S.M. though. It was cute, kinda funny in an-almost-cliched sort of way. And I didn't even object (much) to that whats-his-face Brit being in it. In fact I liked the film despite him being in it and found myself laughing at many of his quips (in spite of myself).

TAKING A BIT OUT OF THE BIG APPLE!

Well I am off to New Yawk City soon...I am totally looking forward to spending a bit more time in the Big Apple - in particular Central Park! I think this is my 4th trip there...

From New Yawk, I'll heading up to Connecticut to spend with my high school buddy Yvette (yipppeee), with Matt in Boston, Sharon in Pittsburgh and with a bit of luck Kim in Cleveland before heading home for my dad's birthday and my niece's high school graduation! How cool is that?

So three interviews (at least) on the East Coast and possibly another final one (or two) on the West Coast and then "that's a wrap" kids.

As for the FUNDING of this little journey - all I can say is - "thank God for plastic". Anyone who wants to contribute to the film fund - feel free to contact me to do so :) (No donation too small)...

DAMN TAPES

Well last night I logged off the Internet early (for me anyway) and sat down to watch some of the interviews conducted last week. JJ's interview came out great. Quite pleased because her story is just so compelling...Then I went to put on Karen's and the tape is...um, well to be blunt FUCT.

The last tape I had an issue like this was my 40th birthday party which was a bummer. This is more important than that though....Does anyone know a company that fixes cassette / DV tapes? David fixed my last one and tried to have go to fix this one but it seemed to be beyond his capabilities - sadly. So either the film will have no Karen or I'll find someone who can repair the tape. Damn it.

Helen's interview came out good. It was a brilliant day in Poole.

NEWCOMB'S OLD COMB

The other day I had the strangest thing happen (bear with me here)...Several months ago I was walking to the gym and after I crossed over the Clyde, I felt something drop. I looked around at my backpack and the outside pocket had unzipped itself and I had slowly lost my entire contents - along the way.

Due to the fact I had music on, I never heard anything fall out. So I retraced my steps - first making sure I had the most important contents (the membership card, lock which were thankfully placed in a different pocket)...

At the time, I'd been reading Wayne Dyer's adaptation of the Tao Te Ching and learning to "detach" from things (outcomes and people too). So I reminded myself of this as I was re-tracing my steps.

"Nothing that was in that bag is irreplaceable" etc....

Anyway, sorry, this story is going on much too long...

I didn't find anything I'd lost (but that said I couldn't remember what was actually in the pouch - apart from my special comb).

Fast forward many weeks, and I was walking to the gym again (just a few days ago) - it was early (so no cars were around) and there in the street was my comb. It's a distinctive comb you see - which was battered beyond use (no doubt being driven over numerous times) but as it was my comb, I had to take it with me. I wasn't really sure why, but it was somehow symbolic and it actually got me thinking about people in my life. I recall thinking to myself, something along the lines of "see it's not just people that come (and go) from my life...objects do too!"
Sometimes it's just funny how the universe teaches us things. Not entirely sure what the comb message is - but I did find it a little peculiar that I've traversed that route dozens of times and never before was that comb right there in plain view - it felt almost destined.

OK, I am not entirely sure I have a point to this rather silly story, but I did find it a tad unusual...

RATATOUILLE!

Well I need to get back to watching my little Disney film (which is o-so-funny), so I can then have my bath and get to sleep. I've an early business meeting up in Fife so off I go...

Hope you're well wherever you are - whoever you are. And if you're like my comb - who'd left my life, come back - please, I've missed you.

Love and light, Miss Tx

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

UK ROAD TRIP APRIL 2008


LONG AND WINDING ROAD

Thursday

At mid-day I picked up the rental car. Somehow I managed to get talked into upgrading and taking out extra insurance so the damn rental ended up costing a whole lot more than I bargained for, but oh well it's only money. Intending to stop at the Gretna Services, I accidentally blew right past the off ramp - head in the clouds. Whoops.

So I pulled into the next services half an hour down the road. Time for a quick pitstop and a hot chocolate...which I ended up accidentally dropping in the back seat all over the floor - when aiming for the cup holder (whoops, again).

Landed in Manchester just after 5pm - having just long enough to slap on some make up (and I do mean slap), a few straighteners through the hair and off I went. Walked up to Deansgate and meet new chums at The Atlas Bar. We have a good girly laugh until we're all so famished we have to head out for food. Stop for a quick few shots taken outside where the Hacienda used to be...All that's left is a sign saying "Hacienda (Apartments)". (Incidentally - that's the Hilton in the background of the picture). I enjoyed seeing the sights of Manchester and having an amazing meal in Chinatown too. I was floored by the kindness of semi-strangers. Well, we're no longer strangers, I guess. After a great Chinese dinner we have a quick tour of the city and it's back to the hotel for some much-needed sleep. I loved the hospitality in Manchester. I'd definitely considering going back one day, and seeing more of that fair city. It sure seemed like a nice one.

FRIDAY

The next morning - after not sleeping great - I decided to walk to the Salford Lad's Club - made famous thanks largely due to the Smiths (Stop Me if You Think That You've Heard This One Before)...so there I am at 9am trying to take self-portraits in front of the building when a man walks up and asks if I want my picture taken - which of course I did. Then he said, "would you like to see the Smiths room?" - which of course I did...and so it turns out it was the infamous Lesley Holmes who is one of the men who runs the place. It just so happened that he was looking out the window from the office and noticed my sad attempts at photographs.

I ask him about being on the SECRET MILLIONAIRE and he tells me about being on the ONE SHOW the week before (last).

He gave me a tour of the legendary building so seeped in history. I spent some time in the Smiths' room - looking at the photographs from fans all over the world. There's also a little area in the room where you can write something on a post it and leave the message which eventually gets added to the wall.

The Smiths sing one of my "top five" songs of all time ("How Soon is Now?") but for some reason quoting a lyric from that track didn't seem fitting so I merely wrote "Good times for a change" and dated it. Short and sweet.

I left the building promising to send down my picture (that Lesley took) to add to the wall...along with a donation for the club. I quite wanted the t-shirt pictured here.

Besides I've often thought of calling my autobiography BIG MOUTH STRIKES AGAIN so it seems apt.

Lesley pointed me in the direction of Old Trafford and I marched over in the pissing rain - all so I could get a souvenir for Brent. (Shheeesh, the things I do for my friends). And I struggled to get a bus and instead had to fork out money for a taxi due to it nearing 'check out' time.

I definitely want to go back to Manchester. I feel I only scratched the surface.

So having nowhere to be (and no one to see) on Friday - I, for some crazy reason, decided to head to CHEDDAR. I found myself checked into a B&B called Wassells. Run by a young couple, 2 kids and their noisy dogs. It was a lovely little place and affordable to. I checked in, relaxed for a bit before heading up to the village to find some dinner.

Friday night means it has to be Fish and Chips (or something like that). I end up eating alone at Tuckers. Not to worry, the locals were friendly and chatted much to me.

After dinner though getting rather dark, I tried to venture up the Gorge but a few miles up, I gave up and headed back down the mountainside (mostly because I had visions of it ending up a horror-film type-statistic by breaking down and being murdered or something).

SATURDAY


The next morning I pottered about Cheddar, popped to the village to pick up some postcards and then headed out toward Wells and through Glastonbury (just to say I've been to Glastonbury).

Seemingly hours later (and four seasons of weather), I arrived in deepest, darkest Devon to Julia's pub. Well not her pub, but the pub she works in. The village is called Spreyton. It was about 500 feet long I think. Pretty much just a bunch of cute cottages.

The road I traveled to get there was in fact the tiniest single-track road I'd ever seen in my life. It was more than worrying when I reached a river and had to drive through it. (Good thing I got that extra coverage on the rental car huh?)

When Julia finished work I followed her the four miles (across more tiny roads) to her converted chapel. It literally looked like a green tin shack from the outside (though, admittedly a cute shack) and inside the chapel was expansive an homey. I fell in love. It was blissfully relaxing. A few hours later Julia heads out to her other job and I watch SPELLBOUND on the laptop.

Upon her return we head to a nearby village to pick up fish and chips and have an early night. Julia kindly offers me her big comfy bed and opts to sleep on a blow-up mattress with her shaven poodle,...

SUNDAY

Sunday afternoon we head for lunch at the White Hart in a nearby village called Bridestowe, and when we return to the chapel, I conduct my first interview of this road trip.

It's the longest interview to date, and deservedly so as Julia's story is a cracker. Can you imagine being married for like twelve years and finding out you married a bigamist? Well it happened to her...

MONDAY

Monday morning I film a few more bits and hit the road - destination Dorset. Sometime around 2pm - I arrive to meet the lovely art student, Helen in Poole. Dropping off my bags - we head out around the Quay and I fall in love with this place too. It made me want to pack my bags and move to the coast.

It sure helped that the weather was the best day of the year so far and we could sit and have tea and scones on the waterfront! I might not have been quite as enamored had it been pissing with rain, hail, and so forth. But as luck would have it my time in Poole was exceptional. Helen offered to curl my hair before we headed to Bournemouth to meet Karen. It took much longer than we'd bargained for and we ended up being fashionably late - and I had lopsided hair!

Treated the girls to dinner, (as it was the least I could do for their time), and then we filmed Karen on the Bournemouth Pier.

It was a pretty night but the darkness was soon upon us and we went our separate ways.

TUESDAY

The next morning, I dash out early to meet a networking friend of mine for the first time - face to face. How strange it was to have been at Poole at the same time - as Paul, is from Marlowe.

Helen was a little lucky - as she is the only one (so far) who's been able to watch an interview before she was forced to sit in the hotseat - so she got a chance to see what to expect. We decided to go to a nearby beach --- Sandbanks Beach.

Due to the waves and a whirring sound of the mic - I (pretty much) shot the interview like three times. Bound to be some useful footage in there somewhere. Well here's hoping!

As I was heading north of London that afternoon, I aimed to be near the M25 before peak time - which meant a 1pm set-off time from Dorset.

Quite frankly I could have just stayed in Poole. I loved it.

The ride to Hannah's was a fairly smooth one. I channel hopped through various stations along the way and made it to my destination before 4pm. I let myself into the house, made a tea and some toast and had a shower. Han's home is my home-away-from-home. It felt wonderful to have the big house to myself for a few serene hours. Han's house is never serene when they're are people actually in it so I have to take it while I get it. I often tease her that a visit to her (lovely) loud home actually makes me appreciate my zen-like abode. Nothing like a bit perspective eh?

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday it was great to not have to get in the car and drive anywhere but I did have an early meeting with my new lawyer - just off Oxford Street in St. Christopher's Place. What a great little area I'd never discovered before. I had time to kill after that meeting and before my next so I wandered around London a bit.

I hopped on a random bus not really caring where it was heading. I got off at Victoria and hopped the tube to Mornington Crescent. Ninety minutes early - I had a solo lunch at the Crescent next to the tube station and paid an arm-and-a-leg for internet access. I love going to Mornington because every time I do it makes me think of MADNESS.

THURSDAY: TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME

After a chilled out night - I got an early start on my journey home. It's a four-hundred mile journey - which was made even longer due to the fact that I thought I'd be clever with a motorway change and ended up having to double back on myself - so the entire journey home ended up being 425.2 miles. Whoops. Well I always wanted to see the Yorkshire Dales.

Welp, that wraps up the week. Did you miss me?

Anyhow, I shot three hundred (or more) photographs which I'll slowly sort through. It was one of the best trips of my life. It literally was a wonderful week which make me reflect on just how blessed my life truly is. How blessed we all are really.

"Every day above ground is a good day" says Tom McRae. Am truly feeling Zenlike. Tired but zen-like.

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Thursday, April 03, 2008

RIPE: GEEK MAKES GOOD

AMERICAN TELEVISION

On BEN LEE'S latest record, RIPE, he has a track called "American Television" whch is a the new single in America and it's actually getting some publicity and VH1 airplay.

It's good to see him getting some success! Ben, of course, is HUGE in his homeland of Oz, and has quite a following in the USA, but not so much in the UK....(yet). Maybe one day...

He's a lovely guy and the most spiritual Pop Star that I listen to...(Overtly so anyway - I recommend his blog). I just love that about him - his spirituality...when I interviewed him the first time - it didn't actually go too well in my mind (ego talk) but I do remember him talking about meditation and some of the things he said in that first meeting have stuck with me...SO some real "good" came out of that first, awkward meeting.

He has so many songs about "connecting" make me feel more connected to him and to others. In his song "BEGIN", he sings "I'm walking down Broadway, each footstep is a new love letter, I'm trying to make eye contact, with each and every stranger that I pass, I'm thinking about the city, it's living proof people need to be together. I'm thinking about how I just wanna open up, and give and give and give..." -- which will always remind me of a freezing day (Oct 2006) I was walking around Chicago, in the sleet, and it came on my iPod. Ahh, the milestone theory...I think if it often as I am smiling at people in the street, total strangers to see if they 1) smile back or 2) keep staring at the ground 3) assume I am smiling at someone else 4) stare through me like I am invisible. Try it some time. It's a fun experiment.

I digress...

Anyway his new single is not at all "spiritual" but it sure is funny...particularly if you were around in the 80s/90s to "get" his pop culture references. Watch the video below...Hopefully it will make you smile, like it just did me.


I love geeks. Geeks unite.

And sometimes GEEKS get the girl - in fact Ben Lee used to date Clare Danes and is now engaged to Ione Skye (who is perhaps best known for playing opposite love-of-my-life John Cusack in "Say Anything"). Go Ben. Does my heart good to hear that news. (Well I didn't even know until Ross told me a few nights ago). Where have I been? Ha.

Oh and don't mind me with the blond hair above. It wasn't a good look - I can see that now :) Dark it is!

Love and light. xxx

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

THE BACKLASH HAS STARTED TO HAPPEN

WELL INTENTIONED FEEDBACK...

Well I've had a number of message in response to yesterday's blog which I want to address. Most have been supportive of me or rather my decision, but all have said that they "selfishly" would like to see the site continue.

First let me allay some fears and address some suggestions...

The site is not going anywhere...not today. Not this month or even next. It's not the type of site I can just turn off the switch without doing my best to give everyone 'notice' to back up their threads and private messages. I don't need that pointed out to me - I know. It's more something I am working toward...in the future.

Second, it's not just about the MONEY. Before you suggest advertising or "subscription" fees and the like, can I just let you know I've tried all that? The site already was a "subscription site" before...I implemented that years ago and it actually KILLED the dynamic of the site.

It took a good year to get it back to steady traffic it had been before I tried to enforce a mandatory payment scheme...I know many of you think "people value what they pay for" but frankly a larger % will just go find a FREE site to post on - which is precisely what happened.

To be fair, paying for things on the Internet is more common now than a few years ago when I attempted this...

Naturally I appreciate the feedback (my ego doesn't quite so much). I realise everyone is making these suggestions because they want to see the site live on. I get that.

I, of course, do too, and it will live on in some capacity and not join the ranks of the famous closings like BOO.COM or something. (Incidentally they had 135 million dollars and only lasted 18 months, so there you go)

Anyway, I guess my main reason for posting here was to start to give some warning that things will be CHANGING. Embrace it. I reckon it will MORPH into something different - hopefully something better.

I know the right path will present itself and it will work out exactly how it is supposed to go. I've DETACHED FROM THE OUTCOME and I'd urge ALL of you who use the site to do the same.

I trust that I'll be OK and I trust that all the site members will be too...even if it's a case of the 'worst case scenario' - we will all be OK.

The reason for wanting to distance myself from it - is because it's time to love and be happy again, and rightly or wrongly, in my head I've not felt I could do that with this site taking up all of my time and my energy and thought processes.

And again delegating is not really the answer - because if the site is there - I check it. Until you can ship me away to a desert island - SYBD will be a part of my daily life. Let's move on.

I think I've addressed some of the main comments/concerns etc,...Keep them coming if I haven't.

PASSION FISH

Do you know what? I've been going to a lot of gigs of late. I've seen about EIGHT bands/singers in the SEVEN days. I feel like I was disconnected from concerts when I lost my job on air...I just sort of stopped going. But lately I've been going again and it's been bliss. Total renewed enthusiasm. I love hearing bands, meeting bands, trying to find the perfect songs that will resonate with people who see the Dumped Documentary...and it just feels so good to be alive.

Last night as I sat there, in the Liquid Ship, watching these up-and-coming acts playing their songs it reminded me of a dream I've always had to run a label...At the very least my label, Kinekter, will license the tracks for the soundtrack to the film so even if I only release ONE CD - I will at least have achieved a life-long dream.

Doing the recent shows, "sounds a-x-ecosse" for RADIO SIX INTERNATIONAL - reminded me just how much JOY I feel when radio presenting. More than any other "job" I've ever done. There is something so ZEN like to be in a studio, doors shut, headphones on, raising the fader and speaking to whoever may be listening. Sometimes you feel there is absolutely nobody listening, but you do it anyway, only to find out later that people did in fact hear you.

Maybe that's just what we all want in life - to be heard?

Though the guy who 'inspired' the site once called me "slick" on air - that's about the last thing I'd use to describe myself. I babble incessantly. I gush. I stutter over words but man, I feel passion for what I do.

Ha! No, "professional" isn't really the term I'd use. :)

But "Who cares? So what?" - it's what I love and soon it will be time to find someone to pay me for that passion again. Any PD's reading? Keep me in mind...And an old demo can be found on MySpace page :) Must add a more current one eh? You can stream my recent shows at Radio Six International - and all four shows are being repeated on Saturday mornings...which is nice. Maybe some listener out there would be willing to start up a BRING BACK THEA TO THE SCOTTISH AIRWAVES campaign? :)

"Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?" Ha.

PEAKS & VALLEYS

Anyway enough "ego talk"...my point that I was trying to make was life is all about pain and pleasure. We never get one without the other. We need both to gauge things in life. Pain, pleasure, love, hate, joy, loss....all interwoven emotions.

It kind of makes me think of a great pleasure passage in Eckhart Tolle's THE POWER OF NOW. P. 24

"PLEASURE is always derived from something outside you, where as JOY arises from within. The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you, so its absence will give you pain. And what is often referred to as LOVE may be pleasurable and exciting for a while but it is an addictive clinging an extremely needy condition that can turn into its opposite at the flick of a switch. Many 'love' relationships, after the initial euphoria has passed, actually oscillate between love and hate, attraction and attack.

REAL LOVE doesn't make you suffer. How could it? It doesn't suddenly turn into HATE nor does real JOY turn into PAIN,..."


THE POWER OF NOW was recommended to me by my Q96 Colleague (now Real Radio) JOE KILDAY. We sat chatting during one of his shows one Saturday morning and on his recommendation I bought the book. It's not a "easy" read for me, but it's one of the most life-changing books (concepts) ever, so 18 months later I am still working my way through the darn thing! Ha. I personally am often 'drawn' to books at any given time to answer some questions that have been roaming through my mind. I find I get led to the POWER OF NOW in such times.

In one instance, I was standing in the "personal development" section at Borders and a book fell on my head so I bought it. If that wasn't a sign I don't know what is. I like to think it was my mother's doing. It may have been LOUISE HAY'S 'HEAL YOUR LIFE' - which I pick up and put down periodically, too. So even in her "passing" I reckon my mom, (who was a psychic and spiritual healer) - still guides me. I think only now at 40 are the concepts she was trying to instil in me (20 years ago) are being borne (or rather awakened) in my consciousness now.

It's an exciting time for me personally and for global consciousness too.

The fact that Oprah/Eckhart have had 11 million downloads for this series prove that to me. In fact, for me personally, a lot of the plans for moving on from SYBD are probably stemming from their online course which is currently taking place for his book A NEW EARTH.

It's a book I picked up last year, off the back of THE POWER OF NOW and long before it was a "book of the month" by miss Oprah. :) I'd only skimmed the book, last year and when I saw she was doing a web class about it - I took that as a sign it was time to focus on the book more carefully now. I came to it in week three so I've had to download all the classes to catch up. If you're at a cross roads in your life, or unhappy in any way - I definitely recommend this book (online course) it will TRANSFORM your life if you work at it.

To me, transformation is worth the effort. So on that note, I think I'll head to the library with my book and do some studying. There is a thread in the book forum to discuss this life-altering book - and I just wait for someone to read it and discuss it with me...please...?

Thanks to everyone who's been supporting me, making 'suggestions' (even the ones that frustrate me!) it's really good to know you're there and that you care. I appreciate you. It's also heartening to know someone is reading these words - cos like radio, sometimes I wonder...

GOOD VIBRATIONS COMING YOUR WAY!

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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

THIS AINT NO APRIL FOOL....

APRIL SHOWERS...

Well yesterday was gorgeous but April Fool's Day is off to a dreich start as they say in Bonnie Scotland. I am recovering from quite a weekend. It's always a freak-out to my system when we lose that measly hour in Day Light Losing Time. It's like it sets me off kilter for a week until I finally acclimate.

I woke up Sunday - at what may have been NOON (!) - and I just felt rubbish. I thought for the entire day about closing down SYBD. Not selling it. Not handing it over to the site members. CLOSING IT.I'll tell you why, shall I? (Maybe it's obvious and you don't need me to spell it out but here we go....)

Let me put it to you this way…

1. Would you do a job for eight years, unpaid?
2. Would you want to do a job that talked about your past (rather painful experiences) every day for eight years?

Chances are you’d answer “No thanks” to both.

Add to that the question - would you want to work in a place where you’re literally drowning in other people’s pain, heartbreak, hurt and misery for EIGHT YEARS?

Again, I am suspecting you’d say “No”.

Welcome to my world.

When I first launched back in 2000, the guy who was the "inspiration" of the site, Chris, said "Thea, I can understand you're doing something good, but are you sure this is a good idea for you?" (or words to that effect) He was right to be concerned.

How could dealing with this subject matter for such a prolonged period of time NOT have an effect on me? Of course it has. I am challenged to BELIEVE in love and in RELATIONSHIPS.

I cry tears that are other people's tears. In other words, for years now I've soaked it all up like a sponge.

Therapists and counsellors have people to "offload" (I think the term is) to, but I haven't had that luxury, really...so it's stored up and stored up in what EKHART TOLLE calles a "pain body". And, well, Sunday I found myself wailing and caterwauling and none of it was really "my" pain or some ofi t was but mostly it was cummulative pain if that makes sense. It was like a pent-up pressure cooker - exploding!

It was then I realised I've had enough and it's time to work out a strategy to move on...but and herein lies the challenge - if you have ever had to "dump" someone, you know how hard it can be. Imagine dumping thousands of someones.

Welcome to my world.

There have been many people urging:- “Don’t do it” and “You can’t do that” - but why not? I built it. It was borne out of my own personal experience. It’s been kept up for eight years – where do you draw the line?

Yesterday, from a lovely site member (who I adore), the words "you are sitting on a gold mine. You'd be bonkers to 'dump' the site" came forth.

But of course no one can ever get behind anyone else's eyes, in their head, feeling their 'pain body'...so why judge me as "bonkers" for wanting to walk away? Or rather for NEEDING to walk away? Is eight years not long enough? It's been longer than any other "job" I've had. Longer than ALL of my relationships combined.

As I've said time and time again - this site has been MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT and it's equally been my BIGGEST CURSE.

FOR EIGHT YEARS!!!

It's been my intention to hold onto it until 2010 - that was the line mentally drawn in my head - but this weekend, I've concluded I no longer wish to do it for another two years.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END...

Every relationship comes to an end one way or another (by death, by drifting, by dumping - something). So the question is now - where do we go from here?

As this site is arguably the "best" (my site members feedback, not my ego talking here) of its kind, (dealing solely with break-ups), it would be foolish - or at least ill-advised - to put a "closed" sign on the homepage and walk away. I've been looking at the competition and have even asked a few trusty forum members to do the same...The consensus is that SYBD's a valuable tool for recovery. A haven for those most-challenging moments and a place to share those little victories too!

But after eight years - it's time for a TRANSFORMATION. It's time for it to grow and change and become something different. Something even BETTER. I am just not sure what...

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?

I've had to grapple with my own personal demons that I am letting people down. People who are, by and large, strangers across the world. So is it really MY RESPONSIBILITY to keep this site going for them? Or do I owe it to myself to do what is best for me - trusting that everyone will be alright?

My dad's response was "I wish you could just take a break from it" but that doesnt work. I suggested the only way that was likely was if I were stranded on a desert island with no computer/internet. Then I asked if he was willing to send me to an island...

So over the course of the coming year, I will look at all opportunities. I will do my utmost to find a solution that is for the greatest good of all concerned,...but mark my words, it's "time". Time for me to break from break-ups. To find love again. To surround myself with happiness and happy people. To hear the "good" stories more than the "bad". (Fully aware though that there is no "good" or "bad").

I especially want to thank the people who've supported the site from its inception. Only a small % have chosen to "give back" (by donating) to the site. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

SPONTANEOUS NIGHTS

After I dried my tears, curled my hair and slapped the paint on my face, I went to see an Edinburgh band DROPKICK at the 13th Note. I have to admit I wasn't much in the mood for a gig, but I "Paltrowed" as best I could.

I am so glad I went, because I had one of those rare, spontaneous nights where you make some new friends. Well "friends" remains to be seen...but I did spend much time chatting to a fellow American, Bill and a quirky member of Glasgow's ATTIC LIGHTS (Island recording artists)- called Colin (pictured).

I don't know if I'll see 'em again - but it was a "great night" when I just really needed a "great night". (Thank you universe)

I laughed a lot, learned a lot, and even if only for a moment - I "connected" with two strangers. Good to see there are "good guys" out there - interesting ones too. I really need to start getting out more, I guess :)

Thanks guys!

And thank you for reading this far...xx

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