Tuesday, January 08, 2008

LOVE ONLINE?

I've just received my latest newsletter from MONEYMAGPIE - founded by my friend JASMINE BIRTLES.

It features an article about ONLINE DATING which quotes me (and in some cases misquotes me) about the topic of finding love on the Web...

To be honest, it's been years since I've met anyone on the Net (through a dating site), but for a while there I did give it a go - with varying levels of success.

Eventually I decided to put the idea of finding romance all on the back burner, and to just see how it goes through life.

I've once been accused of "giving up too easily" where dating is concerned, and I think that it comes down to apathy more than anything else. Well that and stubborness.

Men simply are not my priority at the moment and to be frank, I am not that bothered how it looks that I don't have one nor that I've stopped looking. Heck, I've been married, I've done the long-term thing, and frankly, though they taught me much, I didn't find the grass was actually greener. Right now I am trying a different path, that's all. Currently I'm more concerned with the relationship to myself than to anyone else, and it's a whole lot less stress and less disappointing! Ha.

For now I am just being...Not re-living the past or worrying about the future and I am firmly placed in the present. And on that note...

A COURSE IN MIRACLES

Many years ago, my New Age Mom studied A COURSE IN MIRACLES. Since then, I've always been intrigued by it, and today due, to some random inspiration, I was researching where it came from and pondering its merits. You see, a few years ago, I even went as far as checking it out of the library on Byres Road,...but between you and me, I must be thick...(as thick as that tome was) because I just didn't get it. I found it so hard to grasp and read. Massive book, tiny print, heady subject. I just want the "Idiots Guide to" it, I think. Clearly my mom was right on its maiden bandwagon voyage - because I am sure it was the 70s when she was reading it...and without meaning any disrespect to my mother, she wasn't the most-intelligent or educated woman ever, so God love her for trying to get through the density of that book.

In case you've never heard of it, it's a book written by a woman HELEN SCHUCMAN - who says she channelled the words of Jesus. Aye, really. There are naturally many sceptics out there about the book, her claim (how it was written), and its merits. I am not bothered by all that - because I personally think what matters most is the message not its so-called "source".

Any time I see other people quoting excerpts - the sentiments resonate with me. I half wonder if it's my mother that's guiding me toward these teachings now. As I said I tried to read it before but I didn't "get it" but maybe now, a little older, a little wiser, perhaps I might? But OK, I still wish there was a dummies guide to it...

WAKE UP!

I am traveling everywhere with a book called WAKE UP CALLS in my handbag. As I think I mentioned recently, I've had it for years - just sitting on the shelf, but when going through my bookshelves to donate charity last week, I came across it and picked it up and have been reading it daily since. It's a light read of quotes and what could be deemed meditations...or perhaps simply "thoughts". Much of it is about LOVE and FORGIVENESS and simply practicing NON-JUDGMENT. Again all things that I am marinating with just now.

Some good examples from the WAKE UP CALLS book / and A COURSE IN MIRACLES...

* There are only two emotions - LOVE and FEAR.

* Perception is a mirror not a fact.

* I am never upset for the reason I think.


FORGIVE AND FORGET

The topic of FORGIVENESS comes up on a DAILY BASIS on my site. There are some people whose relationship ended YEARS ago and they are still walking around feeling HURT, ANGRY, BITTER, VINDICTIVE - and who's that hurting? Their ex? Heck, the EX in most cases is long gone.

"We cannot be at peace until our relationships are healed. Not even one person can be excluded for us to experience complete inner peace. We need to remember that 90% of forgiveness doesn’t work – it has to be 100%” (Wake Up Calls)

So if that's you...holding grudges, or holding on to past hurt and perceived crimes against you - this could be your ex, your folks, your kids, your friends - whoever - please heed my warning and LET IT GO. Honestly there is no value in holding on to such grievances. They're not benefitting you - quite the opposite.

But so many people hold onto this thought they're JUSTIFIED in their anger, hurt, resentment etc. "So what?" I ask you? How's that working out for you? That anger will never bring about peace of mind so LET IT GO.

If you can't "forgive and forget" - then just "forgive and remember"...and you don't think you can forgive at all - then aim for ambivalance. Don't see forgiveness as letting someone off the hook for their "bad" behavior. See it as a necessary stage of recovery for you to be happy and whole again. Do it for you. Not for them.

I am going to be writing more on this important subject because as I said, it keeps coming up and it's something a lot of people can find themselves "stuck on".

Right now I am forgiving myself for not going to the gym today...and instead I am chomping on SweetTarts (a theater sized box no less).

MOVIES OF THE YEAR - SO FAR...

Well, I've seen two films this week already (and it's only Tuesday). Today was the new Tom Hanks film CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR...and yesterday DAN IN REAL LIFE...both excellent choices for a cinema trip.

It was great to see Steve Carell in a less-goofy role. In DAN IN REA LIFE, he plays a widowed, syndicated columnist and father of three girls, who is finally opening up to love again after four years. I loved the opening scene of him in his bed and on the other half of his bed - it's books and notepads. I actually laughed out loud at that (much to the chagrin of the journalists around me, no doubt). But what can I say? I can relate. It was a cute film. Really my only gripe with it was his family - who are a little bizarre to say the least. I've never seen a family like his. Maybe they're all in Rhode Island (I drove right throught the state on my road trip) so perhaps I missed them...but they exercise together, play charades, put on talent shows in the house...Get real. This is supposed to be DAN IN REAL LIFE...(actually that's just the name of his newspaper column). But family aside it's a sweet little film.

As for CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR - it was well acted, had some funny lines and was based on a true story about Wilson a wild and crazy Texas congressman who effectively makes it his mission to bring down the Sovien Union...with a little help from fellow Texan, Joanne Herring (played by Julia Roberts) and a CIA chap called Gust (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman). Hoffman actually got some of the best lines. I admit I know little about the Middle East and nor am I set to change that, but I did enjoy the film.

And to end this update - still on the topic of films - I received my first DVD from LOVEFILM today...It's a French comedy. So I know what I'll be doing when I get back from meeting the girls later...

Stumble Upon Toolbar