Monday, December 24, 2007


Last night when I got back from the cinema with Ross I received an email from Kimba to say our friend in Greenock has passed away.

From Greenock, Gail was a pen pal of Kimbas (who lives in Ohio!) and when it came time for me to settle in Scotland, Kim passed on the address to me so I'd know someone here. A great lover of music and life - Gail and I got on well. She was always bubbly and kind-hearted and that just makes this loss so much greater. A young, 30-something air hostess - Gail befriended everyone who came into contact with her (even Duran Duran!)

So I feel very sad once again. A death like this brings into question so much about our lives. What we're doing, how much we take for granted, and the friendships that we've had and lost or perhaps let lapse. It makes us think of our own mortality and if I (or you) were to "graduate" tomorrow - who would care?

I guess we never know whose lives we really touch, do we?

It makes me personally think about friends I've lost and those I miss. Though I hadn't seen her since the diagnosis - I did try and would often text and email her.In face, earlier this year, I sent her the LANCE ARMSTRONG book IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BIKE and had it sent to her in hopes she'd be inspired in some way...As if that book might somehow save her. How foolish I am. But like most people I want to help people but am powerless with something as big as Cancer. Having lost my mother, my mum, and my grandmother to Cancer it's a feeling of powerlessness I've known all too well and it's frustrating.

I feel so sad. Gutted even. But it's life. No, scratch that, it's death. Gonna happen to all of us at some point. It's just something I find hard to reconcile.

And speaking of tears, I am watching the final STUDIO 60 episode which is bringing on the tears...I can't believe they didn't pick this up. I loved it.

I digress. I am going to endeavor to not feel too sad about Gail because 1) she's no longer in pain and 2) she'd not want people to feel sad, she's want them to celebrate life and her life especially. She made a difference. What more can any of us strive for?


I love it when people call in and see me. Today as I was packing up to go to the gym, I got a call from a friend on their way to Loch Lomond for a walk so I ditched my plans and went out for the lovely scenery and exercise. We walked more than three miles...

After the walk, I came home and with a quick turn around went to the gym. Get this, I swam 2 miles. Can you believe it? (*pats herself on the back*).

Then I was paid a visit by the lovely Somervilles - Kevin and Siobahn who not only popped in for a hot bevvy and some chocolate cake, but they also came bearing gifts. So alas I am not sans-gifts for Christmas. I have TWO. One from Hannah and one from the Somervilles. I feel blessed.

Not only that, but Kevin, the lovely gem of a man he is, has assembled the rather tall IKEA CD rack - that's been blocking my hallway for six weeks now. Hooray! Now I can work on sorting my CDs tomorrow!

So it's not all SAD news for today's blog.

It's a lot like life - good and bad. Happy and sad. Life is so full of dichotomies. The biggest one in me is the opposing sides of being a happy singleton and longing for a companion. I suspect I am not alone in that. There are certain times it's great to be single and of course certain times it's not so hot. Christmas and New Years fall into the latter category for me.

Right now I could really use a hug but as I look around, there's no one here. So alas I shall retire once more to my bath and bed...along (sniff, sniff)....

It's now officially Christmas Eve - so Merry Christmas to the Christians among you.

"God bless us every one" as Tiny Tim once said...

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